This little girl on MTV totally broke my heart with her cuteness today. I was recording the O-town appearance on Celebrity Undercover for Nicole, because O-Town was supposed to be on, and I figured screaming at them would be cathartic after her finals and stuff. It turned out to only be Jacob and Trevor, but that's okay, because Jacob was there, and we like to yell at him.

The thing about Celebrity Undercover is it's implausible. First of all they always take these "targets" to this sound stage which is so. Clearly. A sound stage. It's always the same one, and it's always lame. Then the celebrities show up pretending to be there for another reason. Then they fuck with the fan's head for half an hour, and then everyone hugs. It's like lame-ass candid camera. The fan always pretends to be totally cool, and then the second the celebrity leaves, they spaz out and start freaking, which the celebrities get to watch from a secret room.

Why would they want to, though? I honestly don't understand. Don't they get enough people shrieking about them on a normal day? And they tend to really, really try and mess with the fans' heads.

I understand the concept, I think; the fans are playing it cool and they get to interact one-on-one with their favorite people, and the celebrities like it because they get to talk to a fan without all the normal freaking out. (Except for the freaking out parts. Whatever.) It's just oddly executed.

Anyway. So the fan this time was this little girl, who couldn't have been more than 12 or so. Really young, and wearing an oddly Buffy-esque belted black jacket. It seemed odd to me. Anyway, that aside, she loves O-Town. She says so. Then her friends say so. They go to the "set" to "get tickets to see Felicity" (wtf?) and the realtor asks them to show anyone who shows up around the house. It didn't make much sense, okay? Only, there's a weird neighbor, the water's broken and the heat doesn't work. Fine. FanGirl is all "sure! I can totally do that." She's not perky cute, she's... Well, frighteningly like I was at 12. Except obsessed with O-Town.

So they hang out for a sec, and then Jacob and Trevor walk in. And this is where FanGirl absolutely wins my eternal love forever. When I first met Jian (I've detailed this before) I was not only the world's biggest dork, but I was also trying ultra hard to seem cool. I failed. This girl sees them, starts to scream, jumps up, throws herself at Jacob and hangs off his neck.

Jacob is understandably startled.

I've never heard anyone complain that Jacob is bad with the fans. He's actually pretty good from what I hear, which is pretty remarkable. He laughs and gives her a big hug and then she hugs Trevor, who, over the course of the evening, got about half as many hugs as Jacob did. Heh.

I love that they picked a girl too young and fanatic to understand that her whole point is to act "cool." She's supposed to show the guys the apartment, but tell them it's broken and it sucks. Only she won't, because she's 12, and it would mean them living 15 minutes from her house. When her friend (prompted by MTV) calls her on it, she shrugs and says "hey, they can always sleep on my floor. Well. Maybe not all five of them."

She kept playing with Jacob's hair. First of all, ewwww! *shudder* Second of all, he just totally let her, like it wasn't weird or irritating or anything, which was amazing. Well, only amazing because it was Jacob. He broke out the acoustic and played her "Take Me Under" (um. She's a little young for that song, isn't she?) which apparently has a tune. Who knew?

Jacob, incidentally, gets mad props for everything except his appearance on the show. He was sweet to the girl, he kept smiling and laughing, he was modest about playing the guitar ("I've only been doing this for a little while") although he balanced that by listing every fucking instrument he plays, and he balanced mentioning Michael Fucking Jackson (Jacob? Shut. Up.) by saying "He's so amazing and like, I know how I'd react if I met him. And to see someone react like that to us is... Weird."

Heh. Yes. Yes it is.

His appearance, on the other hand, was still homeless. I swear that's the look he's going for. He was rocking a white undershirt and a thin white polyester shirt with a tiny little design on it, with one button done, and jeans, which would look fine (I like funky shirts) except that Jacob weighs about 120 pounds, and he looks like Dan's hidden all the food out of his reach. Good god. Jacob needs a sandwich, stat!!! The dreds and the goatee don't help the whole "no, really, I have a place to live, I swear" lies he tells.

I should mention Trevor. Trevor... Trevor had a headband. And puffy, road-mapped hair. And a tank top. Yeah.

When the evil real estate lady came back and found out FanGirl had told the boys that the apartment sucked (which she only kind of did) the woman freaked. The girl ran behind Jacob "because [she] knew Jacob would protect [her]." Jacob cracks up. I crack up. My suite cracks up. Trevor cracks up. And we're not just laughing because Jacob is half Trevor's size, and only 2/3 the size of the real estate woman.

It was sweet. It was really really fucking sweet.

The other thing, and to explain this you have to understand that in spite of making fun of me, Rachel B. and Vicki watched with me and also though it was adorable, was this truly odd moment near the end. In order to give FanGirl the biggest possible heart attack they lie and say there's a great entertainment system Jacob and Trevor will love, when actually they're luring her in to the tv room. Trevor, who acts as well as Jian lipsyncs, gets all excited. Jacob laughs again (what's up with that? Where's the princess of pout?) and says "yeah, man. Five-point-one." Trevor responds with "Five-point-one!!!!" They laugh.

In joke? Cryptic reference to the band sucking? You be the judge. If you know what the fuck it means, tell me. I'm genuinely curious, because we've been wandering around the suite since then yelling it.

5.1, man. 5.1 Wooooo!!!